This is the Too Many Trees newsletter, where I share what I’ve been writing and reading in the realm of leadership and personal development. My coaching practice is centered around the idea that we are more effective in moving towards our goals when we become more conscious and intentional in focusing our time and attention, and learn how our unconscious patterns are holding us back. If you know somebody that could benefit from my perspective, please forward this to them or let them know they can set up a free intro chat with me.
I don’t have an inspired lead-in or story to frame the newsletter links, as it’s been a very full (but satisfying!) couple weeks. So to demonstrate my post on retraining the brain, I’ll take this opportunity to practice gratitude for the good things happening in my life, even if the world is still a scary chaotic mess. I’ll organize this list by my 2022 priorities of family, coaching and self-care.
Family
We spent time with my sister’s family, and I like watching my kids play with their cousins, as I wasn’t close to my cousins growing up.
We hired a babysitter for one evening to help out with the kids, and plan to make that a regular practice.
My wife and I had a lunch date (with kids at day care) this week!
Coaching
A couple of my clients got promoted by their companies, demonstrating a recognition of the work they have done to increase their leadership skills.
We had the first meeting of the antiracism group I proposed in the last newsletter, and I feel energized and excited by how it went.
I have been enjoying the reading for the leadership coaching class I’m taking, as Steve March is challenging us with different conceptions of power.
Self-care
I have been getting outside for some physical activity in the sun almost every day, because my mental health is so much better when I do so.
I did a couple errands by bike for the first time in a while, and appreciated the satisfaction of self-powered transportation.
I also went for a run last week for the first time in years; only 3 miles in 30 minutes, but still felt like a milestone to overcome that resistance (and to not hurt myself!).
Even just walking around listening to a podcast makes a difference.
I reconnected last weekend with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while for a great conversation that directly inspired my post on training the brain, and I had lunch with another long-time friend the week before.
I have been practicing taking a deep breath when I feel myself getting defensive because I take something personally, naming the resistance (and the part that is afraid it did something wrong), and letting it go.
How about you? What is going well in your life?
And now for the normal personal development content:
Blog: Two blog posts in a week!
My summary of Morgan Housel’s book The Psychology of Money, inspired by listening to Housel’s interview with Tim Ferriss and generally appreciating his writing at the Collaborative Fund.
How to Retrain Your Brain - an attempt to explain how “woo woo” advice like “Manifest what you desire” or “Like attracts like” can be explained by how our neural networks are wired. If you are clear on what you want, you can retrain your brain to notice opportunities to fulfill that want, and bubble those up to consciousness so you can take action on them.
LinkedIn: These are ideas that have helped my clients (or myself), and that I share via LinkedIn to help a wider audience.
Moments of leverage are happening all the time, and it’s up to us to live into them. I used to think that opportunities were scarce, and when I saw an opportunity, I had to leap on it for fear it would slip away and never return. I now believe that opportunities are passing by all the time if we tune into them.
You can’t do everything you want to do, in which I share a friend’s Two Things theory, where it's hard to make more than two major commitments at a time. For most people, that's their job and their family. You can add one hobby in there, but that's generally about it. Same message as my 100 Hours post, but easier to remember and act upon.
Articles and resources I’ve found interesting:
I appreciated Elie Mystal’s examination of Judge Jackson’s long pause before responding to Ted Cruz's race-baiting question:
"As the silence filled the room, I felt like I could see Jackson make the same calculation nearly every Black person and ancestor has made at some point while living in the New World. It’s the calculation enslaved people made before trying to escape to freedom, or activists made before sitting down at the white lunch counter. But it’s also the calculation a woman makes before responding to the e-mail of the failson who was just promoted ahead of her, or the calculation I make when a white executive comments on my Twitter feed but not my published columns. It’s the calculation when black people try to decide: “Am I gonna risk it all for this?”
Mariam Elghani, a female entrepreneur, shared on LinkedIn how many times she was propositioned and nearly assaulted at an industry conference. It's hard enough to be a founder and entrepreneur - why do men have to make it even harder for women by making them put up with this crap? I loved a comment linking to this post suggesting that men who aren’t sure how to treat women professionally can treat them as they would Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
Ancestors, Luck and Descendants, by Derek Sivers. “it’s nice to acknowledge that the choices of your ancestors led to the circumstances of your life. And the choices you make will affect the lives of your descendants for many generations to come.”
This reminded me of Layla Saad’s book Me and White Supremacy, which has the subtitle “Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor”. If people like me don’t start addressing the systems of power in place today, we are leaving those problems to future generations to address, and that’s not the ancestor I want to be.
Thanks for reading! See you in a couple weeks.