This is the Too Many Trees newsletter, where I share what I’ve been writing and reading in the realm of leadership and personal development. My coaching practice is centered around the idea that we are more effective in moving towards our goals when we become more conscious and intentional in focusing our time and attention, and learn how our unconscious patterns are holding us back. If you know somebody that could benefit from my perspective, please forward this to them or let them know they can set up a free intro chat with me.
I wrote in my last edition about feeling a little overwhelmed, and was fortunate to be able to take some time off last week in Tahoe without the family, as my in-laws were in town to help with the kids.
Time off was wonderful - I did more reading than I have in a while, I wrote up an article I’ve been thinking about (and which could be the seed of my alleged book), I did more exercise than I have in months including run/walking 11 miles in 2 hours which pushed the limits of my conditioning, and I even had time to watch the new Obi Wan Kenobi series and Top Gun: Maverick (totally ludicrous and enjoyable).
It also inspired a LinkedIn post which I’ll excerpt here:
I was telling my therapist recently that I didn't know why I didn't want to read hard books the way I used to, or write posts the way I used to, or even exercise the way I used to. And she said "Maybe you're just tired?" Huh. Yeah, maybe. I took a break for several days in Tahoe last week, and, sure enough, after a few days of rest and recovery, my enthusiasm and desire to do those things re-appeared.
If you find yourself questioning why you can't perform at the level you desire, I encourage you to consider taking a break. Give yourself several days to rest and recharge in whatever way suits you (for extroverts, that might include adventures and parties!). And if you can't do that for whatever reason, maybe go a little easier on yourself and stop telling yourself what you "should" be able to do.
I wanted to pass that message along to my newsletter readers, as the pressure keeps building and I don’t see any end to it; if we keep gritting our teeth to get through “this”, we may break before “this” ends.
And yet, “this” pressure can also be a spur to change things, as Amanda Gorman reminds us in her poem response to Uvalde:
Everything hurts.
It’s a hard time to be alive,
And even harder to stay that way.
We’re burdened to live out these days,
While at the same time, blessed to outlive them.…
Maybe everything hurts,
Our hearts shadowed & strange.
But only when everything hurts
May everything change.
Be kind to yourself, and to each other, and let go of the myth that capitalist productivity is the only way to measure your life. Instead, let’s change how we live our lives so that there’s less hurt and more life.
And now for the normal personal development content:
Blog: My summary of the book Leading Systems, by Barry Oshry, subtitled “Lessons from the Power Lab”. Oshry spent three decades studying simulations of a society, and noticed how the same patterns re-occurred across dozens of iterations. He concluded that the behavior patterns were not a function of the individuals involved, but of the design of the system/society itself. His conclusion was that “Position does not determine power” in changing a system; in his words, “system power is the ability to bring the system to self-awareness” and “the determining factors for system power are: the belief that one can make a difference, a deep understanding of system process, and the courage to act.”
LinkedIn: These are ideas that have helped my clients (or myself), and that I share via LinkedIn to help a wider audience.
How do you change your beliefs, especially about yourself? I love James Clear's prescription: 1. Decide the type of person you want to be, and 2. Prove it to yourself with small wins. In other words, you build a new sense of self with the deliberate practice of extending your limits, and accumulating small wins to build confidence that you can keep doing so. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts to developing that mental confidence in your ability to change.
Articles and resources I’ve found interesting:
I am reading Storyworthy, by Matthew Dicks, a 9-time winner of the Moth GrandSlam story-telling series. He recommends developing your sense of the stories happening in your own life through what he calls “Homework for Life”. Take 5 minutes each day and ask yourself: “What is my story from today? What is the thing about today that has made it different from any previous day?” What did you do differently that contributed to a different understanding of yourself? By doing this homework:
“You start to sense the critical nature of your very existence. There are no more throwaway days. Every day can change the world in some small way. In fact, every day has been changing the world for as long as you’ve been alive. You just haven’t noticed yet.”
Similarly, I appreciated David Cain’s How to Get the Magic Back: “The trick here is that there’s always something significant, poignant, or poetic everywhere you look, if your mind is in that certain mode – so rare for adults — of just looking at what’s there, without reflexively evaluating or explaining the scene.”
Thanks for reading! See you in a couple weeks!