This is the Too Many Trees newsletter, where I share what I’ve been writing and reading in the realm of leadership and personal development. My coaching practice is centered around the idea that we are more effective in moving towards our goals when we become more conscious and intentional in focusing our time and attention, and learn how our unconscious patterns are holding us back. If you know somebody that could benefit from my perspective, please forward this to them or let them know they can set up a free intro chat with me.
I’m a fan of David Cain at Raptitude, and am particularly interested in his current experiment of emulating the Roman Stoics in doing one thing with full attention at each moment in the day:
“in every moment, be fully honest with yourself about what you probably should be doing, and do it without ambivalence or compromise. Bring your attention and your body and heart fully to that thing, and ask for nothing else but the opportunity to do it. Live that way the best you can each day, and do it better the next day.”
The emphasis on action resonates with me, as I have found that taking new actions is what changes you, not thinking. Action activates neural pathways to reinforce the new behavior, and that’s what allows you to reprogram your unconscious autopilot and unconscious reactions.
Action is also what gets you out of your own head to get feedback from others and the world around you, so that you can learn and grow. And this idea of how actions ripple outwards has apparently been on my mind, as each LinkedIn post I wrote in the last two weeks (summarized below) has involved the concept in some way.
And yet the idea of trying to do the thing I should be doing all day long sounds exhausting! I’m currently living in “survival mode”, where just keeping up with my responsibilities to my family and my clients regularly takes most of my time and energy each day. Even writing this newsletter feels like an indulgence. Part of me is kicking myself for staying up late working on this, rather than sleeping so I can function better tomorrow. Part of me is convinced of the value of shipping consistently (thanks, Seth Godin!). Part of me is enjoying the indulgence of being a “bad boy” for not spending this time and energy on other things I “should” be doing.
Resolving all of those parts into one action at a time without “ambivalence or compromise” doesn’t sound easy. My current experience is that carrying the mental load of all the things I “should” be doing is exhausting, and distracts me from whatever I am actually doing in the moment. In other words, finding the flow where I can focus on one action at a time without being distracted becomes hard when I’m overcommitted with too many things to do. But maybe that’s a sign to reduce my commitments, and choose to do fewer things better.
I’m not sure what the answer is. I’m continuing to find my way, to figure out the people I want to serve, and the way I will choose to have impact each day and in each moment, even if I don’t always take the “right” action. And I am working to accept that is enough: I am here, and I am living, and I am learning, and I am growing. I hope you are too, and would love to hear where you are on your journey.
And now for the normal personal development content:
LinkedIn: These are ideas or questions that help my clients (or myself), and that I share via LinkedIn to help a wider audience.
We teach people how to treat us. If we keep having the same pattern in our interactions, perhaps we are unconsciously contributing to those patterns. If we change how we act, we can potentially create new patterns.
Taking different actions, even if small, can lead to big changes. We don’t realize how we are often in systems that have feedback loops, where consistent actions can be amplified and build on themselves to create exponential change.
Sometimes there really is too much to do. This is hard for people to admit, especially high achievers; they instead fall into shame spirals because not being able to do everything makes them feel like they are not good enough. But you can’t change the situation if you won’t admit the reality of what you’re facing.
Dependability matters. I’d rather work with somebody who consistently delivers on all of their commitments than somebody who may get more done, but over-commits so they sometimes don’t follow through. I am working to retrain myself to deliver more on fewer commitments, rather than always taking on more commitments.
Articles and resources I’ve found interesting:
If you’re not a tech geek, you may not have heard of 37 Signals or Basecamp, but I think it is fascinating what has unfolded in the last couple weeks. The short version is the founders, who have written several books about the amazing culture they built at their company, decided to shut down political discourse within the company, particularly a push for diversity and inclusion by company employees. They offered a severance package to anybody who disagreed, and 20 of the 58 employees handed in their resignations. Casey Newton’s reporting at Platformer was fantastic in explaining both What really happened at Basecamp and How Basecamp blew up. Reading DHH’s tone-deaf response is squirm-inducing, as he seems to not recognize any merit to those who disagree with him. Jane Yang’s open letter to the founders tells another side to the story.
If you want some tips on how to engage in dialogue around such difficult topics, I recently came across Kat Tanaka Okopnik’s Facebook page, and appreciated her 10 rules for commenting on her posts, including Be Accountable, Context Matters, Impact Before Intent, and Do Not Derail. Useful mantras to keep in mind in most interactions.
And on the lighter side, I just binged Ted Lasso on Apple TV+, and really enjoyed the experience - this show is fun, thoughtful, and heartfelt. I started it based on a friend’s recommendation, so I am paying that recommendation forward here.
Thanks for reading. See you in a couple weeks.