This is the Too Many Trees newsletter, where I share what I’ve been writing and reading in the realm of leadership and personal development. My coaching practice is centered around the idea that we are more effective in moving towards our goals when we become more conscious and intentional in focusing our time and attention, and learn how our unconscious patterns are holding us back. If you know somebody that could benefit from my perspective, please forward this to them or let them know they can set up a free intro chat with me.
I finally got around to the next (and last?) installment in the alignment series on my blog, which I called Creating Alignment with Others. This post grew out of a number of coaching conversations after I realized I was repeatedly giving the same advice for issues ranging from low performers, to things getting dropped in the gaps between teams, to co-founder responsibility discussions. In a sense, it’s just an expansion of the Rands article, Say the Hard Thing, in that I identify three components of communication to enlist others to do something:
Set and communicate clear expectations.
Secure commitments from others on how they will meet those expectations.
Hold people accountable if they don’t fulfill their commitments.
All three steps are necessary to drive action.
For 1, it’s impossible to mobilize others to do something without telling them what they need to do, and who, specifically, is responsible for doing those things.
For 2, sharing expectations with others isn’t enough, because they have to agree to those expectations and commit themselves to meeting them before they will actually do something.
For 3, a leader must create a culture of accountability with consequences for commitments to mean something in terms of making things happen.
This three step process to create alignment with others has been resonating with a number of clients as we map it to their leadership challenges, and I am curious whether it resonates with readers out there. More details in the full-length post.
Please comment or email if you have thoughts or refinements.
And now for the normal personal development content:
Speaking: I was invited to give a talk on “Finding Your Way as Chief of Staff” at the Chief of Staff Summit on Oct. 28, 2021, based on my blog post, How to be a Great Chief of Staff in Tech, summarizing my learnings from six years as the Google Search Ads Chief of Staff. In the talk, I also included learnings from my time as an executive coach over the last couple years. You can watch a recording of the talk and view the slides on my site if you’re interested.
LinkedIn: These are ideas or questions that have helped my clients (or myself), and that I share via LinkedIn to help a wider audience.
Don’t save a broken system - When you put in heroic efforts to make a bad situation work, it just perpetuates the problematic system, because the people in charge are getting what they want, and therefore have no incentive to change.
Sharing a story of a poorly designed “award” offsite that was (probably unintentionally) exclusionary, but left somebody feeling disempowered.
Plan for the unexpected by building in a buffer for “unexpected” work, so that when it inevitably arises, you have capacity to handle it, rather than having to drop something else or work unsustainable hours.
Handling new, urgent tasks is a critical skill, especially as a high performer. Without careful management, the to-do list can become overwhelming, while saying no to anything unplanned is also suboptimal. I find that stack ranking commitments is a good tactic to prioritize and communicate what is currently being handled.
Poetry that has spoken to me over the last few weeks:
The Edge You Carry With You by David Whyte, especially the following lines:
“You know so very well, your childhood legacy: that particular, inherited sense of hurt, given to you so freely by the world you entered.”
Claudia Rankine’s from Citizen: “Some years there exists a wanting to escape...” with the beautiful line “The patience is in the living. Time opens out to you.”
Hokusai Says, by Roger Keyes with this exhortation:
It matters that life lives through you.
Contentment is life living through you.
Joy is life living through you.
Satisfaction and strength is life living through you.
Peace is life living through you.
He says don’t be afraid.
Don’t be afraid.
Look, feel, let life take you by the hand.
Let life live through you
Thanks for reading! See you in a couple weeks.